Gunpowder Empire

This book is the first of the "Cross-time Traffic" series by Harry Turtledove, who is famous for writing "alternate history" stories. This book reveals the flaws with alternate history stories; the author has to predict what would have happened, but base it on what DID happen. Thus, he'll sometimes (or, in this book, frequently) make predictions that strike the reader as laughably wrong-headed. For example, the protagonist, Jeremy Solter and his sister Amanda, live in the late 21st century, where scientists have discovered a way to travel to all the alternate versions of our world. There are some where the Nazis won WWII, where the South won the Civil War, where the Roman Empire never fell, etc. Because humans have ruined this planet with global warming, (cough, cough), they have to put people on these alternate histories, undercover, to trade for grain, food, oil, etc.

Jeremy and his family travels to a world where Rome never fell, and has not advanced technologically beyond clumsy flintlocks. Then, his parents travel home for his mom to have an appendectomy, and the portals stop working. So, he and his sister are on their own in a Roman town.

The problem with this book is that the attitudes that Jeremy and Amanda have are so incredibly politically correct as to be ridiculous, even if you buy the premise that humanity has made great technological strides in the late 21st century. For example, at one point Jeremy recieves the gift of a nice marten fur coat. But he is so disgusted by it, because, in his world, "only perverts still wear fur", that he actually throws up. Later, the author has Jeremy wonder why, since he still eats meat, he should be so offended by fur, but he has no good answer. That's likely because it's a ridiculous position to take, or to predict that humanity will have moved so far that he would think it perverted to wear fur. And the constant, CONSTANT repetition of how their tender feelings are abused by slavery, well, in the words of another reviewer, "their precious and unwavering moral rectitude almost had me reaching for the airsickness bag myself at times".

Other examples include Amanda refusing to let Jeremy take the lead in negotiations and such, because it's sexist, despite the fact that everyone else in that whole world has that sexist attitude and will therefore disregard her, Jeremy feeling guilt while it's happening for stabbing an enemy soldier who has broken into their house, and Amanda marvelling that she has become such a barbarian as to hope that the soldiers defending their town actually win the battle, instead of the other guys.

It's psychotic. These people purposely go undercover in these other societies and try to blend in, but they trade things like Swiss army knives, and other odd things, and they eschew the use of modern weapons for protection (so they can blend in), but they don't bother to train in the use of that societies' weapons. Jeremy has no clue how to use a sword or bow. I'm sorry, people who are actually trying to survive are not so hoity-toity or self-righteous about doing what's necessary, including killing if they have to. You're not in Kansas anymore, you nancy-boy.

So, for them to prevail, despite their best efforts, through dumb luck, well, that was very unsatisfying to me. People that dumb, who refuse to recognize reality, don't last long. I won't be reading any more of Mr. Turtledove's works.

4 yards.

Bitterwood

This is a book which starts out like any old fantasy book, with dragons and magic. However, it drops little hints that maybe things aren't quite what you think they are, and in fact, it turns out that the world the dragons inhabit (and rule) is not quite what you thought.

 

There's a fairly big twist, and it could have really made this book worthwhile, but it's so sparsely dealt with, it's a waste, a gimmick. And where some books would have intriguing and compelling characters to see you through the plot stupidity, this book has two-dimensional heroes and villains, and an anti-hero who just plain doesn't make sense. At least to me, he didn't . Then, the one thing at the end that could have happened to make the story complete, is hinted at and then revealed to be misdirection.

 

I feel bad, because the author is an alumni of Orson's Boot Camp, but I just didn't like this, I couldn't in good conscience recommed it to anyone, and I won't read any of his other books.

 

3 yards.

 

Brigadoon

Having recently been IN one of those classic musicals, Brigadoon, let me opine here for a moment.

Brigadoon is stupid.

The music (for the most part) is wonderful. But the story is profoundly ridiculous. And I don't mean the premise, which is fine, it's the execution. For example, the town only appears once every hundred years, in order to protect the town from the evils of the outside world. This is, in the words of Mr. Lundie, a "highly organized miracle". Hello? In less than a month, Brigadoon-time, the earth will passed THREE THOUSAND YEARS! Even one day every ten years would make it so two hundred years passes in less than a month. There is not only no chance the outside world will influence Brigadoon, it's likely no one will speak 18th century English, and it's just as likely that the Island will be gone as well.

So, yeah, it was sweet of Forsyth to wait until Charlie Dalrymple got back from Edinburgh before creating the miracle, to not make anything go wrong with the wedding. Yet, Charlie will, if he's lucky, be married for a month or so before the end of the earth. That's not the worst thing.

The worst thing is treating Harry Beaton like he's the villain. I mean, Mr. Forsyth is supposedly the kindest man in Scotland, but he makes a bargain with God that no one can ever leave Brigadoon or everyone will die, but he doesn't bother to tell anyone IN Brigadoon that he's made this bargain, and bound them without their consent. So Harry Beaton wakes up on Thursday and finds out that he's trapped in Brigadoon forever. And THEN, he has to sit and listen to lectures from Andrew McClaren, his true love's self-important father, about how it's all in his mind, and he could be happy if he really wanted to.

So, yeah, the music, great. But I kind of wish someone would write a brand new story and book for it, (which you could, since you'll notice that none of the songs are exposition).

Old Man's War

I actually read this book a long time ago; so long that I've also read the second and third books in the series. But, the books I'd requested were not in yet, and I had this lying around whilst home with Apryl and the new baby, Gwen. So, I read it again. Just as exciting as the first time, but as I remembered how the third book goes, it appears clear to me that Mr. Scalzi did not have the end in mind as he wrote the first book. There's a little bit of inconsistency about the approaches to the Colonial Union and Colonial Defense Force that seems to indicate an uncontemplated change. But hey, maybe I'm wrong.

 

Either way, this is a great tale. Scalzi knows that he can't help this book being compared to The Forever War or Starship Troopers and so he doesn't try to hide it, but his references are obvious. Also, he is able to bring a new twist to the old story. Basically, at age 75, earth citizens can sign up for the Colonial Defense Force, to be sent into other parts of the galaxy to defend human colonies against the myriad other intelligent races fighting for the same hospitable planets. How they take old people and turn them into worthy soldiers is something you'll have to read to find out, but the technology and sci-fi are never the Point of the story, but rather the context in which the characters make their choices. Particularly, the protagonist John Perry has some lingering feelings and issues relating to the death of his wife 8 years before, which are interestingly and satisfyingly dealt with. Especially if you've read the sequels, which you should.

 

I realized that I should be ending these review s with some time of scale recommendations, you know, like 5 stars or something. But everyone does the stars. And I only have two thumbs, and that's not enough to give me the nuance I need to tell you how much I like (or dislike) the book. So, I've decided to rate books with yards, with a perfect book getting the whole nine (9) yards.

 

Old Man's War: 7 yards and 2 feet.

Hilarious interview of Nathan Fillion by Alan Tudyk

Outing Riley Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Knocked Up Hearts in Atlantis

Magic Street

I feel so familiar with Orson Scott Card because of the impact he's had on my life that when he writes new books nowadays, I kind of let them go into my "need to read" file without actually going and getting them. I mean, I read his column every week, and I participate in a forum on one of the websites he sponsors, plus I've read most of his novels repeatedly. You know, while we're on the subject, part of me is exceedingly glad he's not much luck turning his stories into movies, because, movies from books invariably suck. And I've enjoyed them too much to see them suck. I think of Wyrms and Treason in particular, which were great as books, but would stink like a cornish game hen that'd been left in your freezer when the power was off for three weeks if they weren't made as films with the utmost of care.

 

Anyway, I finally got around to reading Magic Street, which was way different than I had expected. It's a fantasy, set in modern Los Angeles, in an upper-middle-class African-American neighborhood, which begins as a normal fantasy and turns into a classical-related fantasy, if you know what I mean. Which you probably don't, if you haven't read it and no one has spoiled it for you. Anyway.

 

Uncle Orson wrote it because he was talking to one of his friends who lamented the lack of strong black men as main protagonists in film, TV, and books. And Mack Street is certainly that (although my reading of it is that Ceese was the real hero of the book, also a strong black male). But I wonder if a book is really the best way to do that. I mean, the characters have distinctive manners of talking (distinctively African-American ways) and I was imagining a black man (in that vague, hazy, oblique, other-synonym-for-vague way that you imagine what folks look like when you're reading a book), but I don't know that it's a "positive black role model" type thing when "black" is the color of skin that you can't even see and are just imagining. For instance, if they made a movie of the Name of the Wind, and Kvothe was black, that wouldn't surprise me any more or less than if he was white or looked Indian or Latin or Russion or whatever.  I just don't think books, particularly fantasy and science fiction, work that way.

 

Still, it contained lots of social commentary, of the kind that Uncle Orson is known for, well-written, timely commentary. I wouldn't put it at the top of my list of favorites of OSC, but I would recommend it, particularly if you've liked any of his other books.

 

 

Sword Song: The Battle For London

Sword Song is the fourth book in Bernard Cornwell's Saxon Stories series, which follow a Saxon named Uhtred as his life intersects with that of Alfred the Great. Uhtred is raised by Danes after his father is killed, and he learns to love both peoples, although his heart leans towards the Danes, and frankly, after the description throughout the books of the way the earlier Christian church treated people, I can't says as I blame him.

Anyways, if you've ever read a Cornwell novel ,you know he can give you a wealth of detail without bogging you down in useless pedantics. Although the battle scenes are written to show the reality of war, rather than its granduer or false glory, one can't help but be awed by people who willing chose to attack a shield wall, for example. I've read most of Cornwell's books, but I don't know if it's the time period or the nautical flavor (the Danes were seafarers, you know), but these are at the top of my list. The first book in the series is The Last Kingdom and you really need to start at the beginning to understand everything.

The Patient's Eyes

This  book pretends to tells part of the backstory to the Sherlock Holmes novels,  by telling it from Arthur Conan Doyle's perspective, as he meets the famous Dr.  Bell, upon whom he based Sherlock Holmes, and encounters some mysteries of his  own. It's told in a style that is reminiscent of Doyle's, but a little more  modern in terms of pacing. It's an easy read, but rewarding. I confess, I didn't  guess the solution to the mystery until only a page or two before  it was revealed, but it wasn't a cheat or too abrupt. I am looking forward to  getting to the next books in the series, The Night Calls, and The Dark Water.